SPN: keep calm


I had my intake appointment today and went like 10 whole minutes without crying. It's going to be hard to remind myself that this is one person I can cry at and not feel guilty at all.
SPN: keep calm


Zoinked from bubblesbrnaid, some memeage to get me back in the habit!

Day One: Ten random things about you.

1. I have hair down past my waist and I think about cutting it off a lot.

2. I love my cats no matter if they pee on the floor. I Clean it up, it doesn't smell like old cat lady in here (and I check).

3. I miss LJ for connecting and conversation, but it's so slow it makes me sad. Even the anon memes are mostly dead.

4. Yes, I find anon memes funny. I'm a horrible person.

5. I really do have a snarky/sarcastic sense of humor. I try to tone it down because it comes across as condescending.

6. And that bothers me because I want everyone to like me.

7. I'm afraid of moths, flying saucers, and locked-in syndrome, along with not being liked.

8. Conversely I am not afraid of being alone. In fact I kind of dream of it.

9. Unless it's a hot tub or a swimming pool or shower, I hate being wet. This makes living in the Pacific Northwest extremely difficult.

10. I'm great at starting things, and terrible about

Day Two: Nine things you do everyday.
Day Three: Eight things that annoy you.
Day Four: Seven fears/phobias.
Day Five: Six songs that you’re addicted to.
Day Six: Five things you can’t live without.
Day Seven: Four memories you won’t forget.
Day Eight: Three words you can’t go a day without using.
Day Nine: Two things you wish you could do.
Day Ten: One person you can trust.
SPN: keep calm

(no subject)

This is Harley. I was with her from the night she was born twenty years ago, to the day she died, this morning. She was named Harley because she purred every time we walked into the bathroom where she was kept with her mamacat and litter mates. Loudly. Sometimes her purr sounded like the had snorted crickets, and sometimes it sounded like she was practicing to be a pigeon, but she was always purring. She slept glued to me. I'm going to miss her like you would not believe.

Stress (her, work, other work, and mostly relationship/personal) has shot my immune system to shit, so after this weekend's event I came home with

  • a cold sore

  • an actual cold which is dropping into my chest, which I hate

  • edema in one leg from being on my feet 10+ hours

  • an athlete's foot outbreak, which led to

  • cellulitis in the foot that not edemic, already halfway up my foot to my ankle

My RN-friend says I have to stay off my feet for two full days. Not leaving the recliner except to pee. I think this sounds like hell and am going to give it ONE day because she says the option is a week in the hospital which (given I haven't signed up for ACA yet) is not happening. I have twelve events and three closings this month and I am not spending any of it in the fucking hospital.

So. Bedrest for tomorrow.

Fuck me, seriously?

SPN: keep calm

Drive by random bitching

YOU! You communicate terribly and I'm stuck covering for you, don't be mad at me.
YOU! You're asking me to do something basically illegal and I'm not down with that.
YOU! Trust that I know what I'm doing, yeah?
YOU! You have really fucking unreasonable expectations and if you don't tell people what you want how do you expect us to know?
ALL OF YOU, stop making me question MY abilities when it's actually YOU GUYS who are off-kilter. Dammit.

Also, this cold can fuck right smooth off. 
SPN: keep calm

(no subject)

AUGH oh hey fandom friends. This is the time of year where I essentially disappear off the face of the earth: market season begins this weekend, and after that I'll be somewhere every weekend through September. I've also got three clients in contract, and I'm >thisclose< to opening business #3, against C's objections.

I am finishing up my big-pretzel story and handing it off to art tomorrow, and I'll definitely sign up for summergen again because I love gen SO MUCH! but I may not be doing much more than commenting. No matter how badly I want to write Leverage OT3 angst/fluff.

Also, my beloved cat is at the end of her life and I'm feeling weepy tonight. 
SPN: keep calm

(no subject)

I'm having one of those days where I picture how much easier and happier my life would be if I were single/alone. No one making shitty faces about everything, no one arguing about what work needs done, or how much time I'm spending working, or how the cats are destroying everything, or how I want to paint a room. No worrying about hurting someone's really delicate goddamned feelings if I just go ahead and do the work that needs to be done myself. If I want to go out and hang with like-minded fandom people, or go hear a lecture at a pub, I can just go. If I want to spend an hour or three at a coffee shop, writing, I can just do it without "why were you gone so long?".

Thank god the sun is shining, it makes it easier to keep this I'm-not-gonna-fight-with-you smile plastered on. Also, the kittens are adorable and that helps.